This day.

Last year. 

This day. 

I sat with a broken hearted boy as he cried over the picture of his momma. 

It was my first Mother's Day as his new mom. 

I don't say this to evoke pity or mess up your happy celebrations. I say this so that you realize that for some this is a happy day. For some this is a sad day. For some this is a "sappy" day. That's Azriel's word for sad/happy. There is a quote from a lady (Jody Landers) that echoes in my mind today and other days too...

"A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me."

Four of my children have never known anything but having their momma near by. To pick them up. To squeeze them tight. To fix their plate. To comb their hair. To kiss their ouchies.  

Two of my children have known too much loss. They remember their family. A dad. A mom. 8 boys and one little girl. Living as a close knit family in the close quarters of their two room home. They remember it all falling apart. They remember these people that don't speak their language or look anything like them coming and telling them they love them. They remember yesterday hugging their little sister and dropping huge tears as she left after visiting with her family.

I say all this today for this purpose...

This day. 

This day I will not let just pass by.

I will smile. I will cry.
I will thank my God for the love He has poured out on me through my mom.
Through my mother in law. Through my sisters. Through the women I call friends.
I will thank Him for my husband who leads our family.
I will ask Him for another year to love on and be with my children.
I will hug them tight.
I will cherish motherhood.

.............

Also.

This day.

I will not buy expensive gifts or flowers that will die. I will not send a pretty card. Not because I think that those things are wrong, but this day I have decided to say to those mom's that I love (and you all know who you are) "Happy mother's day!!!" through simple text. The money I want to spend on lavish gifts for you will go to Ned being able to spend the next mother's day mourning the loss of his first momma with his new mom. Join me if you can. Right now your money will be doubled because of their matching grant. 

Happy Mother's Day!

http://reecesrainbow.org/82138/sponsorstrongibanez

One more birthday post before I talk about the deep stuff.

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Over the last 12 months for birthdays, I have posted multiple photos and a little about each kiddo, including their name meanings, starting with Azriel. The year before that I took special pictures of each of the kids on their birthday. This time around I'm not sure what to do different so I'll just post a few photos.

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Azriel is 8!

A special photo of her and Gigi.

Opening gifts with the family and all of her grandparents.

Her chocolate and strawberry cake.

Homemade mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Ozobot. One of the science-ey gifts she asked for. She also got Snap Circuits.

Azriel is my tenderhearted girl. Yesterday, before she left for DC with Dad and her sisters, she was in tears because she was leaving. She loves this family with her whole heart.

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Emma is 11!

Emma has been taking lessons on PaPa's old guitar,  

but now she has her own!

Visiting with Ben and Jessa on her birthday weekend after a 2.5 hour wait!

Candles in her cookie dough dip. She had that and root beer floats.

Who can resist licking the candle?

She passed down the guitar and is now teaching Azriel.

My kids rock!

Emma is my mini me. She looks and acts like her mom. We like to call ourselves "passionate" because we put all of our emotions in to our actions and decisions. I'm so proud of the young woman she is becoming.