Saturday, October 5, 2013

Job 1:21

Job 1:21 ... the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

Margaret, Joel, and Kenneth,

It was just four short months ago that our family began praying for you all multiple times a day. We were never able to give you hugs, hold your hands, or show you all the love that had grown in our hearts for each of you. 

I have tried to picture your sweet faces full of joy as you left the orphanage to go and live with your family once again!

You will never know that we even existed, but we will never forget you or stop praying for you. 

With hope for your future,

Your mzunga family 

My heart broke multiple times today. For my loss. For Matt's loss. For my kid's loss. To sit and see the tears fall down the faces of my children. Hearing them cry out. Watching my son go and get their picture to hold to his heart saying that we were so happy. Answering the question from Emma of we will get to go see them still. Hearing the wisdom of Azriel as she says through her tears that this is good and bad. Having Trinity bring Matt the Christmas presents she already wrapped for them with tears in her eyes. We mourn our loss.

But God knew from the beginning. He placed these children on our hearts so we (and so many around us!) could pray for them while they lived in an orphanage... while they mourned the loss of the life they knew... while they went to sleep in beds not their own... we prayed for them. 

This, folks, has not been a day I was expecting even though I always knew it was a possibility. 

We are moving forward. God brought us to Bethel House through our amazing agency. To our agency by searching after reading a book. Reading that book because other moms wrote about it on their blog. Searching blogs about Africa adoption because of a video of siblings in the DRC. EACH of these things God has used to bring us to where we are now... a paper ready family completely prepared for a Uganda adoption. 

He is good. His ways are better than mine. His thoughts are higher than mine. I may never understand this, but today I can rejoice with a sore heart that there are three less orphans and, Lord willing, God will lead us to bringing that number down a little more by Christmas.


  1. My and Jon's hearts ache for you! We know all to well of the love and heartbreak you are going through! Please know we are praying for you all, and this journey GOD is bringing you on! We look forward to seeing who HE brings into the Williams family, and we all know they will be loved by many! *hugs*

    1. Thank you for your kind words and prayer! I know you know!!
      It has been a hard day, but we are thankful that they will always be a part of our family. We told the kids that they are still their siblings. We will still pray for them. We will still be here if they ever need us. God gave them to us... just not with the ending we expected. We found out this morning that the orphanage had someone drive a four hour round trip to give them our photo book. They got to see the ones who had chosen them. Bittersweet.
      We are excited (and honestly a bit nervous) about seeing who God has waiting to joint the Williams crew next :)