Monday, January 6, 2014



 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread,

will give him a stone?    Matthew 7:9 

If you have read books or blogs about adoption, you may have come across post about food and each one with a slightly different view.
"Feed them as much as they want and they will learn to self limit."
"You need to stop them at and not give them more when you know they have had enough."
"They will be picky. Have no rules on what they must eat for the first year."
"Let them try everything!"
"Slowly introduce new types of foods to watch for allergies."
"Check in their bags. Orphans will hide food."
"Keep trash cans locked up. Some will scavenge for food."
I'm not going to go into which ones I agree with. I know. I'm almost as shocked as you are... The opinionated one is not giving her opinion!
This post is about something I just wasn't ready for with our sons that related to food.
It happened a number of times and it will probably happen again. My sweet son slowly faded away from interacting with us some days. He would get a mean look on his face. He wouldn't smile for a picture or answer simple questions that we knew he understood. He would get tears in his eyes.
I couldn't figure out it out! Was it me? Did he not like us? What was making him sad?
We asked for someone to translate for us two of the times. Both times he simply said he was hungry.
Hungry. hungry. HUNGRY. Dude, if you are hungry, just ask. I wanted to scream it at him!!
Yes, English is his second language, but ask anyone who was there... these kids know how to say "foodie" and "water" and most of the children there say it with a slightly pitiful whiney cry.
I hate to admit it made me mad. I'd like to blame it on the fact that I was eating less than 500 calories per day because of my food allergies. Maybe, but just maybe, I was a bit moody. I bit my tongue. I told him to ask. I even let them both ask me with just using three words. Mommy... water please or Mommy... food(ie) please.
It hit one day how sad it was that they didn't know if they could or feel like they could ask for food. Food. That basic need that a mother naturally provides at the first whimpers of her babies cry.
Food. What moms grow and shop for and stand over a hot stove cooking to place on the table for her hungry table of children. How could they not know that that is what moms are for! We feed kids. It's what moms love to do! But they don't know.
Had they always struggled for food? Were they scolded for asking when they were hungry? How many nights did they hope for sleep to not feel that empty pit in their tummy? Did they stop crying out when hungry because that need was never satisfied? Will they ever fully feel comfortable asking for snack or asking for seconds?
Everything I had read. Everything I had mentally prepared for.
They didn't keep asking for more. They cleaned up their plates and put them up before I could offer a second helping.
They weren't picky. They rarely said no when I said to eat something. Even when one of them knew the beef would cause an allergic reaction, he ate it.
Titus asks me for food 10 minutes after he finishes breakfast. Azriel's nickname is "stomach" because she is forever going back for more food. Trinity and Emma eat more than I do now and will probably pass me in height before they are 13 years old. My hope and prayer is that when... yes WHEN... God brings them into our home that they will see that we are feeding them bread and not stones and that, Lord willing, they will never go hungry again!

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