"Congratulations on your upcoming adoption! Welcome to (grant foundation) and thank you for your recent application.
For families adopting out of
birth order or for those that marked their application that they were
unsure, (grant foundation) asks that you email us and give us your
perspective on this. You may also include it in your essay. (Grant foundation) proceeds
cautiously with these types of applications as we learn more about the
decision to adopt out of birth order. Some families flourish while
others struggle when adopting out of birth order. As an organization, we
pray over the information that has been given by our families and ask
for God's direction before granting money. As part of our application
process, it is required that families adopting out of birth order (or
are unsure) must respond to this either via email or in their essay."I've had this question in my inbox since yesterday. After answering gobs of questions for the adoption application, the home study, the other grants, and people around me, I am having a hard time answering calmly with my passion dialed back when I want to scream. I feel like I'm sitting on the stand in a courtroom and attorneys are taking turns ripping into each part of my life while the national TV crews blast it to the world. Tax returns. Pay stubs. Checking account balance. Monthly expenses. Net worth. Number of children. Church. Pastor. Personal testimony. Personal references. Statement of faith. Adoption testimony. Photos of our family. Photos of our home. Ahhhhhhhh! I understand most of the questions. I do. This question about birth order just messes with my brain.
God said to. That's the answer I want to give, but I know they want more than that. So here it goes. I'm going to flush out my idea here.
Possible reply...
Thank you so much for considering our family for this grant! We just started this process in May and hope to travel in October. This would be a huge help since we have not had the year or more we expected to raise funds.
As far as the decision to adopt out of birth order, we do not feel it was our decision. God laid it on our hearts years ago that we would adopt a sibling group. We waited and prayed... and waited and prayed... and waited for Him to say go ahead. When He did say go, not only did He send us to a sibling group in Uganda that was waiting (not in our plan), but, also, to a sibling group that didn't follow birth order. We understand your concern and appreciate the fact that you are willing to consider something that you do not thing is ideal. The more we have sat and discussed your email, the more we are determined that God would rather Margaret, Joel, and Kenneth be adopted together and out of normal birth order by the family He is sending than have them stay orphans. Our new family will be Trinity 11, Emma 9, Margaret 9, Joel 6, Azriel 6, Kenneth 4, and Titus 4.
Our complete sibling group will allow the middles to stay middles, the youngs to stay youngs, and the elders to stay elders as they have been for the last four years of their lives. The responsibilities and privileges for the three oldest girls will be the same and mostly equal depending on ability. It is an important part of our family dynamic to make sure that each child realizes they are loved and needed each and every day. The two middles will be under the supervision of Matt, myself, and the elders while they get the opportunity to take on roles they deem "bigger" in our family. The younger ones will be my personal buddies, bug killers, lunch water fillers, and so much more.
Our bios say each day how much they miss the siblings that they haven't even met. Our house is prepared. Sure. More importantly though, God has prepared our hearts, our children's hearts, our extended family's hearts, and our friend's hearts for these three to be here. Will it be hard? Absolutely, but I know adoption is close to His heart, that He doesn't always do it in birth order, and He makes it work each time He brings His children together as a complete family at church.
Again, thank you for this opportunity and your heart for orphans. If you have any follow up questions, please do not hesitate to contact us!
....
Hopefully that explains well enough why we are going against the norm of adopting in birth order.
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| Trinity brought me this after hearing Matt and I talking about the grants and all the adoption stuff. She's right. | "GOD'S UNENDING LOVE HAS HELPED US THROUGH OUR ADOPTION" |
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